Character Creation

 

I've replaced some of our Qualities with Aspects. Let's see if they notice! Yes, they fucking noticed. -- Jeremy

 

You can't talk to people in real life like you talk to them on 4chan. It's just not nice. -- Craig, about Saline

 

And I only have a Matrix Initiative because... I only have... -- Katie

Because you don't have meat. You're meatless. [pause] She's a vegan! -- Andrew

 

One of my Aspects is, "I'll do physical entry." -- Dawn

...what? -- Andi

It sounds dirty, I know. -- Dawn

What do you know about that? -- Andrew

I was there at the time... -- Katie

 

I was like, 'Hey, I could put some points into Charisma and Logic and...' No.  No, no. Not if you want to play this game. -- Andi, on Falcon

 

Well, I don't need guns or anything. -- Katie

Pfft. You're doing it wrong. -- Andi

 

Dude, I can get chainmail? -- Andrew

 

It looks like you're trying to shoot a guard! Would you like assistance with this? -- Andrew

Go away, Clippy. -- Katie

But Clippy is a little ammo clip. And he has little eyebrows that are bullets. -- Andi

I see you're setting up a smartgun link. Would you like some help? -- Jeremy

 

Dude, I can get a mono-filament chainsaw!? -- Andrew

 

Session One

 

I have high resources because I've got a sugar daddy, but it still sucks to be me because I'm used to luxury. -- Amanda, on Lou

Wait, why are you working again? -- Andi

 

Hey, you still unemployed? Check out this job, lolz. -- Andi

They don't do background checks! They hired me. -- Andrew

As soon as they say that? I'm in! -- Dawn

 

It's a little weird because they're not asking you to kill anyone. They're asking you to provide supplemental security. And you don't think that's a euphemism. -- Jeremy

 

Would you like a peice of pinapple? -- Falcon

No, no, man. I'm driving later. -- Eolas

 

She was the one who got me the job. -- Falcon, on Saline

And you got me the job. -- Blackbird

So it's like a triangle! How nice. -- Saline

I like triangles. I have a file on Pythagoras. -- Jeremy, mocking Saline

He was a philosopher before he was a mathematician. -- Saline, rolling with it

 

This is an open bar, correct? -- Lou

Yes. You're surrounded by a small flock of nerds. They're trying to inform you about scotch. They're mansplaining scotch to you. -- Jeremy

 

I'm resisting the urge to go up to the little pixie man and pet him on the head and tell him how cute he is. -- Lou

 

I take care of people. -- Blackbird

Oh, so do I, actually! Blades, guns, poison... -- Chuck

Food, money... -- Blackbird

...you kill people with food and money? -- Chuck

I don't kill people! -- Blackbird

...oh. [awkward silence] Different "taking care of"... -- Chuck

 

Wow, you're so... [pause] ...so tiny. -- Falcon, on Eolas

 

I don't think I'm supposed to do the same thing here that I did the last time I saw you, right? -- Chuck

I don't think you're supposed to mention the last time you saw me, if it's all the same to you. -- Lou

 

One of the female accountants comes up and asks if you'll autograph her boob. -- Jeremy

Yeah, sure! -- Falcon

 

I'm a bit of an academic, myself. -- Eolas

Wait, what do you academe? -- Falcon

Parazoology, mostly. -- Eolas

...wow. -- Falcon

That's a big word. -- Chuck

 

Most of these guys have really dubious names like Bartleby Scrivener, Felicia Orange... -- Jeremy

McLovin... -- Andi

 

There's one beer left, it's sort of rolled off to the edge of the fridge. -- Dawn

Oh. -- Katie

Katie failed her beer-spotting roll. -- Jeremy

 

Session Three

 

"Saline's been incommunicado for a while." - Jeremy.

"She's getting laid." - Amanda

 

"I'm mounting my gun." - Falcon 

"The next time we have a chance, I'd like to learn to play with that." - Lou, regarding Falcon's "gun"

 

Fuck that! - Falcon

No! - Lou

I don't ship it! - GM

 

"I'd play that game. Just sayin'." - Andi

"Is that like 'I'd hit that'?" - Andrew

"Just sayin'." - Andi

 

Session Four

 

"Can I please stroke your gun?" - Amanda

 

"It's a small calibre, but I guess it's very accurate." - Craig

"It gets the job done." - Jeremy.

"Notice it's not currently in his pants…" - Craig

 

(While Amanda is playing with her dice) "She likes fondling them." - Jeremy

"They're pretty!" - Amanda

 

"You couldn't fit properly in my body." - Lou

"That sounds like a challenge!" - GM as evil NPC

 

"I nourish him on sin and evil. Well, he calls it evil. I call it… yummy." - GM as evil NPC

 

"You know, these wombs are very precious things to these females." - Eolas

 

Session Five

 

"Columbus. No more wretched hive of scum and villainy." - Dawn

"My mom's from there." - Andrew/Chuck

"…"

"Really? Your real mom?" - Jeremy

"Andrew's mom, not Chuck's mom." - Andrew/Chuck

 

"Do you want to check my equipment? I probably have some Saeder-Krupp stuff…" - Chuck

"I'll check your equipment." - Amanda/Lou

"...I don't think so, I'm not an elf." - Chuck

"...That was an out of character comment." - Amanda

"Oh." - Andrew

 

"Are there groceries?" - Blackbird (regarding SK corporate housing)

"You're going to take them home, we know." - Chuck

 

"I'm going to chat some people up." - Falcon

"I'm not… I never have." - Chuck

 

"You… shadowrunner!" - Jeremy as NPC child

"No…" - Blackbird

 

"You're weird." - Jeremy as NPC child to Blackbird

"We all know that." - Amanda/Lou

"Yep." - Falcon

"Nope." - Chuck

"You have no social skills!" - Blackbird.

"Yep." - Chuck

 

"His wife hangs on your every word." - GM to Falcon

"That's a different kind of move she wants to see." - Andrew

"Huh." - Falcon

 

"*whispers* I think they might be swingers." - Lou

"I think they might be swinging now." - Falcon

 

"You know you look ridiculous in that?" - Lou to Blackbird

"Drink more coffee." - Blackbird

 

"We're looking for a way to cure these possessed individuals." - Jeremy as NPC

"I've got a way to cure them." - Chuck

"It's a homeopathic remedy!" - Falcon

 

"It's like we have a whole VAT of Eolases here!" - Falcon/Andi

 

"I have magic fingers which can pick anything up, including me." - Lou

"Quote that!" - Dawn

 

Falcon kills two guys after running away in terror for several turns.

"Hey, welcome back." - Chuck

"It's good to be back." - Falcon

 

On being infected:

"If I got something, I got something." - Falcon

"It wouldn't be the first time…" - Chuck

 

Session Seven

 

"It's like someone made roca and then shit Christmas all over it." - Andi on the candy cane roca.

 

"Last time, on the Motley Institute..." - Jeremy

"Dude, I killed my spirit mom..." - Falcon

 

"It's a clusterfuck of rape vans." - Jeremy 

 

15 August 2072

 

"Can I touch her doughnuts?... Wow." - Chuck

 

"Can… I… tap… into that?" - Saline

"Oh, just say it. 'Can I tap that?'" - Falcon

 

"We usually don't kill anything when we assense it." - Blackbird

"Sure you do, it's like the Care Bear Stare." - Falcon

 

"I take care of my fern [before leaving.] " - Chuck

"One day, you can graduate from the fern, and then you can have the next set of orphans!" - Blackbird

"What am I supposed to do with them?" - Chuck

"You can take care of them." - Blackbird

"...You want me to shoot orphan children?" - Chuck

"No! There are two kinds of 'taking care of.'" - Blackbird

"Oh, this is the other kind." - Chuck

 

"We game online!" - Falcon

"Oh, so you've had the cyber already." - Lou

"She's just a box!" - Falcon

"Oh, so you can do whatever you want!" - Blackbird

 

"There's no shipping that!" - Blackbird

 

"Every time you manifest, you look shocked." - Falcon to Saline

 

"We need to get Chuck laid." - Lou

 

"You have a fairy costume." - GM to Saline

"Yay! I'm a fairy!" - Saline

"I thought he was the fairy." - Chuck re Falcon

 

"Mom? You're being carried away by… an obvious villain." - Falcon

 

(On appearance of a man who looks like Falcon's love's father) 

"You know, you should check to see if it's like father, like son." - Chuck

"… Ew. No." - Falcon

 

"The only reason I'd kick Johnny Depp out of bed is to fuck him on the floor… That's what my friend said." - Dawn

 

"I don't have parts that are turned on by you." - Saline

 

"There's no way your soul could pass ANY test!" - Falcon to Lou

"Wait, was that Falcon to Lou or Andi to Amanda?" - Andrew

 

"Do I see anyone as I walk towards the other side of the room?" - Chuck

"You see your family." - GM

"That explains where Chuck came from!" - Andi

 

"I murdered spirit-guide Mom." - Falcon

 

"Have you seen the crap bowl?... The 1880s is totally the worst time." - Falcon

 

"Why does she always do that?" - Lou

"Why does she always leave her mechanical body in 1880 and go off and do other things? I don't know." - Falcon

 

"I'd like to not be mauled by a ballroom of light and darkness." - Falcon

 

"I have more different types of blood on me than the CDC." - Falcon

 

"Well, Lou says we have to get married." - Blackbird

"What?" - GM as Blackbird's boy

 

 

 

20 September 2072 

 

"And that's when we all became addicted to meth…" - Falcon

 

"This is not as interesting as I thought it would be." - Saline on climbing the rock wall.

 

"I'd laugh at that, but I'm unconscious and almost dead." - Lou

 

"They have nuns…" - Andrew

"Battle nuns!"

"Magic nuns!"

"Nun-Chucks!" - Katie

 

"Your fiancee may be dead."

"He never said yes." - Blackbird

 

"Well, he's prone." - Jeremy

"That gives me bonuses!" - Andi

 

4 October 2072

"There's just a Kool-Aid Man "Oh  Yeah!" hole." - Jeremy

 

12 December 2072

 

"I picked my new spells, Detect Plot and Kill Big NPCs." - Craig

 

"He just loves you." - Andrew

"Either that or he's just going for my boobs." - Katie

 

"We're going to Ireland for St. Patrick's Day! It's corned beef and nukes!" - Falcon

"I didn't know it was my kind of party." - Chuck

 

"I'm real!" - Saline

"I don't think I've ever heard you say that before…" - Chuck

"Well, for certain definitions of real…" - Saline

 

"I'll just tell your husband that you turned into one of them, and then I'll comfort him in every way I can, and then I will be the queen of Ireland!" - Falcon

 

"You're like a pint-sized bottle of essense." - Andi to Eolas

 

"Did you just refer to a tungsten rod orbital weapon as a stick bomb?" - Falcon

"...I think I did." - Lou

 

"It's a grey twilight within." - GM

"Then Harmony is sparkling?" - Amanda

"I hate you." - Kelsey

"It's my only Twilight joke!" - Amanda

 

"I could say to Harmony, 'Hold my gun, please.'" - Lou

"And it doesn't mean anything dirty." - Harmony

"Not this time..." - Lou

 

"Ireland is known as the mecha capital. Fuck Japan." - Falcon

 

As they survey the bodies of Elvish nobles pushing out of the walls:

"Oh look, your advancement is on the wall! Or… my advancement." - Falcon

 

"I guess that's what you get for unholy marriages. This could have been you!" - Falcon to Lou, referring to being possessed by extradimensional terrors

 

"I missed it. I missed it! I missed it!" - Amanda while hitting herself in the head regarding not identifying Cameron as Harlequin

"I'm so tired of anti-nougat. I'm going in." - Falcon

"Maybe you could just sever the line…" - Eolas

"WHAT?" - Falcon, already jumping in

 

"Exterminate! Exterminate! You Horrors are an inferior lifeform!" - GM

 

"You finally hurt the bitch, and I heart you." - Lou

 

"Wait a second, it was hard?" - Chuck

"For the rest of us!" - Lou

"That's what she said." - Saline

 

"You're killing an unconscious old man in a wheelchair? Right after leveraging your Catholicism?" - Chuck

 

"Nothing like a naked clown vomiting up black blood sitting by his naked girlfriend." - Falcon

 

"You want to have sex in front of pictures of naked, clown-faced, black-blood vomiting Cameron?" - Chuck to Falcon